| At MM
Training and Consulting, we always strive to learn and grow. We
also continually strive to create new ways to explain our concepts
to you, our clients. In the following article, I explain some of
our new terminology. Plus, I will give you some fun scenarios that
will hopefully help you grasp and remember these concepts.
Before we go any further, I would like to introduce to you Nelly
and Sally. Nelly and Sally are fictitious horse owners who will be
performing in our scenarios. Nelly and Sally love to ride and work
with their horses. But, Nelly and Sally are very, very different. Nelly tries
very hard to be a good horsewoman, but she hasn’t quite grasped
how to be the leader she needs to be for her horse. She is very
emotional and doesn’t adjust well. Many times, life is all about
Nelly’s feelings, not about what her horse needs from her in any
given moment or situation.
On the other hand, Sally is an
accomplished horsewoman. She is a strong leader and knows it’s not
about her – it’s about what her horse needs from her. She does
what she has to do, when she has to do it, to get the response she
wants from her horse – PERIOD! She gets her emotional satisfaction
later when she feels the power of her self control and the
progress her horse has made in his training. Sally is always
offering FREE advice to her friend Nelly.
*** Underground Training
***
Nelly: My horse is such a pig. I can get him to do
anything if I have food. He comes to me when I go into his pen if
I have food. But when I don’t, he is long gone. So I always try to
remember to bring the grain when I want to ride. A few times when
I haven’t remembered the grain, I’ve spent hours running him
around trying to catch him. By then, I was so exhausted that I
didn’t even want to ride!
Sally: Nelly, your horse certainly has you trained. I
would like to see you learn about
underground training. He obviously is not
connected to you but
to the food you have for him. In the round pen, you can learn how
to connect a lead rope to his mind and his heart. Your horse will
see you as a leader, and he will learn to come to you on command –
food or not!
*** Cowboy Time ***
Nelly’s day dream: I am so excited; I have time in my
schedule to ride tonight! I will get off work at 5:00. I will be
to the barn by 5:15. I will ride until 6:30 and be home by 6:45 to
cook supper for my family. I have goals all written down that I
want to accomplish with my horse tonight. It will be so fun and
relaxing! I can’t wait!
Nelly’s reality: Nelly’s horse didn’t read her day
planner. When she got him out of the stall, he was a brat. He
wouldn’t stand still when groomed. He acted like an idiot during
warm-up and when she got on him, he spooked at everything, and
that scared her to death! Nelly thought her horse ruined her whole
evening! She called Sally on her way home to ask her what was
wrong with her stupid horse.
Sally’s advice to Nelly: Nelly, Nelly, you are so
organized, and I really admire that about you. But, when we are
working with our horses, we have to remember to turn our attitude
to “Cowboy Time.” It’s not about us and
our time schedule; it’s about what the horse needs from us. Your
horse needed you to adjust your routine. Maybe you needed to warm
him up before you groomed him. Then, if you offered to let him
stand during grooming, and he didn’t, warm-up was your goal for
that day. Because if your horse can’t mind his manners from the
ground, we should never get in the saddle!
*** Caught Ya! Principle
and Reward Ritual ***
Nelly thinking to herself: I am so mad at my horse. She
is being sooooo stupid. I know she is not scared of that wet spot
in the arena, but she keeps shying and won’t get over it. I have
worked her for the past half hour, and she won’t quit being
stupid! “Sally, will you please watch my horse and tell me what
HER problem is?”
Sally: After watching Nelly and her horse for a moment,
Sally realized that when Nelly stopped her horse, and her horse
would stand quietly next to the wet spot, Nelly would not reward
her horse. Sally mentioned to Nelly that she might want to use the
Reward Ritual because her horse was beginning to cooperate. Nelly
said, “I don’t want to reward her yet! I’m still mad at her!!!!”
Sally proceeded to explain: “It’s not about you Nelly,
it’s about what your horse needs from you.” You don’t have to feel
like giving a reward, you just have to do it. It’s the leadership
your horse needs to create the behavior that you want.
*** Get In and Get Out ***
Nelly: I’ve been told that my horse is such an emotional
liar (grey inside color). Sometimes when he is being emotional, I
want to pet him to settle him down because he is scaring me. But
Sally tells me to get after him! It really seems to be the
opposite of what I feel like I should do.
Sally: Remember Nelly, it’s not about you and your
feelings. You want to pet your horse because you are scared. I
recommend you get into your horse because he is lying to you. He
is not scared! But when you get into your horse, you have to get
in with enough intensity and stay in long enough for your
discipline to raise a healthy fear level in your horse. You have
to see that healthy fear in his body language before you quit. If
you don’t, you are just being an irritating nag to your horse. And
you are not being the leader you need to be to create the behavior
that you want!
***
I hope that you enjoyed Nelly and Sally and they have helped
you understand some of our new terminology and concepts. If you
have a Nelly and Sally scenario, please e-mail us. We would love
to hear from you. You can look forward to hearing more from
fictitious cowgirls in our 2006 clinics! |
