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“I bet you want me to saddle that horse for you,”
Grandpa said with a sigh as he dusted off the bits of hay from his
daily chores. Under the heavy lids of his eyes, I saw a twinkle of
excitement. Oh, how I loved to ride my horse and even though
Grandpa was exhausted from his labored day, his recliner would
wait. Grandma would tell him, “Just tell her you are too tired,”
but he would always take me back to the barn where he would place
me in the manger as he went about saddling and grooming.
I watched as Grandpa and my horse communicated on a
level that I could see but not hear. There before me was a strong
man with a deep connection with horses. My grandfather had a
reputation of “having a way with horses.”
Grandpa always provided me with horses that he
trusted. Ribbon was about as bomb-proof as you could get. I was
always looking for ways to impress my grandfather. Whether I was
“barrel racing” around buckets in the yard, pretending to be a
trick rider by standing on my horse, or sliding off her neck or
rump, Ribbon was my willing, but albeit lazy, partner.
My next horse, Skip, was quite a transition from
the lazy, quiet horse. He was a spirited Arabian gelding. He loved
to be ridden as much as I loved to ride him. Much of our time was
spent racing with a friend or trail riding through the woods. I
began to find training opportunities and I would try to figure out
how Grandpa would handle it.
What I regret most about my youth is that I took
the knowledge that my grandfather had to offer for granted. Why
didn’t I ask questions when I had the opportunity? The innocence
of youth fooled me into thinking he would always be there.
A few years after my grandfather passed away, I
was drawn to the desire to have horses again. Over the years, I
developed the mentality that being around horses my whole life
somehow qualified me as a skilled rider. Yes, I knew that I had a
lot to learn. I just didn’t know how much. Over the last couple
years, a new world has opened up to me and I have been able to
move past the infatuation. I have found a deeper, truer
connection with my horses, very much
like what I saw in my grandfather.
The change began with Dakota, a beautiful, black
mare, with training issues. Knowing she had issues was appealing
to me, I was determined that I did not want a dead broke horse.
Dead broke meant boring. I thought that I could pick up riding
where I left off some 10 years earlier. Trust me when I say,
balance is not retained!
Luckily, after a few spills and thrills, I had
enough sense and encouragement from others to get help. This was a
huge turning point and there was no looking back. I began lessons
with Nancy Darrin. She took my horse and me back to the beginning
in order to build a foundation of trust and respect. Our time in
the round pen, on the lunge line, and ground driving paid off. I
will never forget the first time I felt Dakota connect with me. It
was a very powerful experience and from then on, all the old
routines, the everyday handling, leading, feeding, took on a new
dimension. I had a new horse but more importantly, I was
transformed.
That was only the beginning of my learning
curve. Now that I had connected with my horse on the ground, I put
her in training with Marcia and kept myself in training with
Nancy. I knew that just as I had to fill the holes in my horse’s
training, I also had to fill the holes in my equitation. I
concentrated completely on myself as a rider for a couple of
months. And when the time came to start riding Dakota again, I
still had issues to face. Even though I had built a connection
with her on the ground, I still had to transfer that connection in
the saddle.
With my new found knowledge and humility came
reality. As Marcia often says, “You don’t know what you don’t
know.” The more I learned, the more I realized what I didn’t know.
At this stage, it is very common for fears to set in. I was afraid
of falling off, afraid of untraining my horse and even more afraid
of the unknown. Dakota, being a very sensitive horse, was fully
aware of my fears. This all became clear to me one day when I just
didn’t understand why she was being so emotional. Davalee offered
to ride her. I watched in amazement as I saw Dakota’s instant
transformation. Davalee’s quiet but strong leadership set the
boundaries that Dakota needed to feel secure. There was no way I
could help her feel secure until I handled my own fears and
developed my equitation and leadership skills to the level that
she needed. I had to accept that I was not ready for a horse like
Dakota.
So many doors have opened for me now that I made
that decision. These days, I am training and riding a nice, quiet
mare. My confidence continues to grow as my fears are replaced
with knowledge. MM Training and Consulting helped me to build a
strong foundation of principles. These principles are helping me
to develop the leadership skills that I need for my horse and me.
Also, I have met some great people and have an opportunity to work
with a team of women that create dynamic energy. I am committed to
reach out to others and help them develop their horsemanship
skills through the ABF foundation and 4-H.
Though I have much more to learn, I know some
very important things. I know that a horse has to earn my love; I
don’t give it out freely. This creates a much deeper connection
than a superficial, one-sided infatuation. I know that someday I
will be ready to ride a sensitive horse. I also know that my
grandfather is looking down from heaven and is very proud of the
horsewoman I am becoming. And I know that others can develop a
stronger connection with their horses and I will continue to “pay
it forward” by helping others develop their horsemanship skills.
Most importantly, no matter how much I learn and no matter how
long I work at it, there will always be another lesson to be
learned. |
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